If Two Vegans Are Arguing Is It Still Considered Beef
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Yo momma.
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
for meatier showers.
What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef?
"Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A 1-2-3 punch of cow jokes
**What do you call a cow with 2 legs?**
*Lean beef.*
**What do you call a cow with no legs?**
*Ground beef.*
**What do you call a masturbating cow?**
*Beef strokinoff.*
A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."
A newlywed Asian couple are on the first night of their honeymoon and have saved it for marriage
The husband says to his wife, "What do you want to do? We can try anything you want."
The wife says, "I want 69."
The husband replies, "You want beef with broccoli?"
Willpower
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef. how about a cow with three legs? lean beef. but what do you call a cow with 2 legs?
your mom.
If 2 vegetarians argue...
... do they have beef?
A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.
The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
You can explore beef sirloin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean beef stroganoff dad jokes. There are also beef puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
3 bad dad jokes
I use these back to back to back all the time.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH
Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?
There was bad beef between them
I only eat beef raised on marijuana...
I like it when the steaks are high.
What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving?
Beef with turkey
Tried to sign up to a website the other day...
I put my password as "beef stew"
It said password not stroganoff.
If two vegetarians are arguing
Is it considered a beef?
I can make you speak Irish
Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with one leg?
Steak.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom.
People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it.
I've never had a beef with one.
What do you call an epileptic cow?
Beef jerky
What do you call a cow with Parkinsons?
Beef Jerky
I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.
I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.
I wondered for a second, then I remembered,
"Beggars can't be choosers"
Please enter your new password
WEBSITE: Please enter your new password
ME: beef
WEBSITE: Sorry. Your password is not stroganoff
credit goes to my girlfriend
So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.
The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."
If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?
Not sure, depends on what's at steak.
Why is ground beef so popular?
Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.
What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?
A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.
What do you call a cow that masturbates?
Beef Jerky
What do you call a cow having a seizure?
Beef jerky
If two vegans are arguing...
Is it still considered beef?
My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried
His life is at steak
A black women named betty goes to a butcher shop.
Betty: Can I get a half pound of beef?
Butcher: No Black Betty, ham or lamb.
I want my password to be beef stew
but google says it's not stroganoff.
Hindus are so chilled out.
They never have beef with anyone.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
My favorite joke I was told as a child.
I don't know why they need to specify that certain beef is ground beef...
... cause I've never seen a cow that could fly or swim
What do you call a cow with epilepsy?
Beef Jerky
McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.
Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
Hindus and vegans must be great friends
they never have beef
What do you call two tectonic plates having a fight?
Ground beef
I don't quite understand this hate against vegans.
I've never had a beef with them.
Why don't Hindus argue with each other?
Because they can't have beef
Russian computer: "Enter password"
Me: "Beef stew"
Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"
I just found out I couldn't use "beef stew" as a password.
Apparently it's not stroganoff.
If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?
'American'.
Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.
During this pandemic I'm buying lots of stocks.
Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!
A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather.
He says, "Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! All together, it came to $47.22. Here's your change."
Grandpa says, "My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents.
"Can't do that today, though. No sir-ee Bob."
"Why is that, grandpa?" asks the boy.
"Too many fuckin' cameras."
Do not use beef stew as a computer password.
It is not stroganoff.
Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise.
Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Remember the good old days when you can walk into a gas station with $1 and walk out with two bags of chips, beef jerky, and a drink?
Nowadays, there's cameras everywhere.
What do rappers and vegans have in common?
Fake beef
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
A cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
A cow with 2 legs?
YO MAMA
I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder.
He said the steaks were too high.
What do you call a cow...
...w/ no legs? Ground beef.
...w/ 1 leg? Stake.
...w/ 2 legs? Lean beef.
...w/ 3 legs? Tri-tip.
...w/ 4 legs? A cow, you dummy.
...w/ 4 legs in the air? High stakes.
...w/ 5 legs? Chernobull.
...w/ no hind legs? An udder drag.
...w/ a twitch? Beef jerky.
I could keep going but I've milked this joke dry
It's funny how Jews, Christians and Muslims have fought each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
My neighbor and I are having a land dispute.
Well, it's actually more of a ground beef.
It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I couldn't get $GME, so I got CHKN, BEEF, and VGTBL stock instead.
I hope to become a bouillionaire!
You can't use BeefStew as a password
It's not stroganoff
I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James.
Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.
Why didn't the hamburger buns get along?
They always had beef between them.
Why are vegetarians happier?
They don't have beef with anyone
When Love Fades......
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's lovely voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied "You're having soup, a\*\*hole. I was talking to the cat."
I sent my wife a text.
"Just bought some meat from a supermarket in the city where Batman lives."
She said, "...Gotham?"
I said, "No, only beef and chicken."
I've decided to start investing in stocks
First chicken, then beef, and now vegetable. I know it's risky, but I know one day it will pay off and I'll be a bouillonaire!
If two vegans get into an argument
Can you still call it a beef?
Why did the restaurant guest send back the beef stew?
It was offal.
If two vegans argue
Is it still considered beef?
My old high school bully contacted me. He's gone vegan now.
So he doesn't have a beef with me any longer.
If two vegans have an disagreement
Is it still called a beef?
Why is beef jerky healthy?
Because it's cured.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/beef-jokes.html